5.23.2004
Come Monday
The 7-11 is pumping Jimmy Buffet as musak. I am tired of conbini food and I have been pretending to study all day. Maybe it's time to move...but where? Somewhere they don't use kanji I guess. In theory tomorrow I am supposed to review the entire textbook then have a test next week and move up to the next level. I just don't care.
Tomorrow I'm going to tell them I can't catch up. I don't have the energy. I've been bringing work home and working from sun-up (or till the wee hours the night before) till I stagger home at night. I know I got to cut that off too. Poor time management. Certifiable. But work's still going to be there. Big meeting this week and busy month ahead. And I'm tired of torturing myself to "catch up". Why in the heck won't they just let me start over?
There's a word for people who always think happiness is found in another place. What's that word? Ben? That's how I've thought since I was a child and had satellite photos of Australia all over my walls. Now, I don't know. Left Tulsa, left Austin, will I leave Japan twice? To do what? With what? Where? Questions without answers. Here is better than anywhere else I guess, if I weren't deaf, dumb and illiterate.
Mom, I'm bored.
When I was a kid I would get so bored I would cry. It's too late for a walk by the river and I don't want to go to the bar. Got to buy a DVD player...but the Tsutaya doesn't have anything worth seeing. Don't want to spend money, house is clean, photoshop is boring, don't feel like painting. Had plans but just didn't feel like going. Nothing major. Oh! I know, I'll go write that depressing novel I outlined last year...no on second thought that would just take me from bored to morbid. Back to the books!
Tomorrow I'm going to tell them I can't catch up. I don't have the energy. I've been bringing work home and working from sun-up (or till the wee hours the night before) till I stagger home at night. I know I got to cut that off too. Poor time management. Certifiable. But work's still going to be there. Big meeting this week and busy month ahead. And I'm tired of torturing myself to "catch up". Why in the heck won't they just let me start over?
There's a word for people who always think happiness is found in another place. What's that word? Ben? That's how I've thought since I was a child and had satellite photos of Australia all over my walls. Now, I don't know. Left Tulsa, left Austin, will I leave Japan twice? To do what? With what? Where? Questions without answers. Here is better than anywhere else I guess, if I weren't deaf, dumb and illiterate.
Mom, I'm bored.
When I was a kid I would get so bored I would cry. It's too late for a walk by the river and I don't want to go to the bar. Got to buy a DVD player...but the Tsutaya doesn't have anything worth seeing. Don't want to spend money, house is clean, photoshop is boring, don't feel like painting. Had plans but just didn't feel like going. Nothing major. Oh! I know, I'll go write that depressing novel I outlined last year...no on second thought that would just take me from bored to morbid. Back to the books!
